On the Otherside

Crying for the first time, today courtesy myself,
I realize this act, whence this scene unveils,
Clandestine and ignoble, marked by maybe spurious remorse,
Outperforms in blackness, all deeds I've authored till date.

There's nothing I can do, except those I don''t want to,
Even as a soul tears before me for me, as I watch helpless,
With tears not mine, tearing the two it sees,
Except staying silent, as unutterables are spoken.

I have failed to value things dear, condoned recognizing a chance of redemption,
Have no other option than to go, seeking amnesia of this dream,
Of pain, of lies, of lust, and heartbreak; and in vain, just gone,
With remnants the worst: a lesson, which wasn't worth learning in hindsight.

Life has taken a new turn, anticipated not in the wildest,
Proving once again, that it has a reason for being this namesake,
And my past flashes before me, which I used to detest,
I so weak wish weakly, to go back there, to better be than the present.

The seeds have now been sown, a monster might as well be growing,
Which gives no shade, bears no fruit, only unluck, as will fall on me,
And my lament does and will continues, unable to grasp the done,
With that faint hope that the bad ending, will present itself after I leave this journey.

Fullmoon

And I ask her sudden, "Why aren't you veiled today?"

She says, "Ask me else, for today I'm honest and true,"

Gloriously above me, calm and sooth,

I wonder in awe, what verity should I want to know,

I ponder and ask, "Then tell me what is love?

The mirage that plagues many, forcing emotions untrue,

Haunting all beings, tell me, I ask you,"

She says, "I know not love, for I've been alone for aeons,"
I get confused, "But I see so many in heavens, shining with you,
Don't they love your beauty, and crave your serenity too?"
Her gaze turns torn, struggling to cry,
I wait, for composure, deploring puppetting the show,
She just smiles wry at last and says, "I'm nothing but an illusion, lifeless is my real form,
For they who give you life and birth, are who myself I've borrowed from..."

Happy New Year

And, here's another one of my first letter of every line poems...

Wiser left a lot, and leaving this year so soon,
I wait for the new era, of fifty two weeks, of hopeful boon,
Silently mournful, of all the events that have led to memories,
Having all those sorrowful times of detoured destinies,
Yet there were priceless moments too, impalpable in worth,
Often condoned, for I failed to see joy, in bright old days and evening swarth,
Unthanked, they though lingered, balancing the gloom, with as much glee,
And I now on this last day, all facile lessons, can so limpidly see,
Verily experienced, than a self an year younger, ready for future's freight,
Every year, the same thoughts exist, yet the difference, felt in their weight,
Return will I to the beginning again, to a new page for all the days, waiting for their ends,
Year later one, compiled, to form a new chapter, of the book of life God sends,
Hastier than time itself, this waiting patience, now bearing much thinner than brim,
As I assume there's no more to this year, waiting till midnight, another perfunctory whim,
Purely trying to be obdurate, for the last few seconds, being the unreal king,
Painting the canvas left, with water, searching to fill the space, left nowhere within,
Yawning to the lullaby of quietus, felt surreal, just not heard, to sleep,
Now this gets rare, as tomorrow when I wake, I will get a new year to keep,
Envious I will cease to be, of all others, as all will become at par in time,
Where the hourglass will have been flipped, waiting for the sands to chime,
Years later will I I ponder, the same way write and think?
Each year passes, so, will the next too, like each those petaled water, in a restless blink?
And the answer unrevealed now, will inexorably await me after next fall,
Referring to this day of past, when I was wishing, a Happy New Year to all.

Distressed

A sudden day, after awakenment, feeling feeble, I try to rise,
Only to fail, stalled in oblivion, the world turning dark,
And cold, too much to bear, time to pay the price,
Of all my worries, tensions and fear, I had failed to mark,
To be haunted, as in those nightmares soothing, dying,
Losing sanity in a moment, vision of life turned to ashes,
A day off is now here, I can skip yet, I keep on trying,
To wake into proper, to gather myself, as time passes,
Fast and glorious, leaving me behind, as it always has,
I wonder the problem, sudden it just seems,
Lie so many reasons scores, hidden from realization for survival,
They just need a tap, to fall into conscious realms,
And as they unveil, all falls into place, marking my silent age's arrival,
Heeded at last, bound to bind, my soul and body to earth,
Flat on my back, refusing to let me go, even for yet another day,
I close my eyes, losing hope, finally accepting it's the start,
Of a few days of rest, to forget those fears, waiting for me to wash away.

Little Story

Mind blowing... I mean, padhna mat, mind ghumke sach main kharaab ho jayega... Isse statutory warning samajh lo bas... Par kabhi kabhi ghatiya poems bhi likhni chahiye, or else the great ones, cease to be valued...

A short story of my little love, I will say today,
I was sitting there idle and listening, when I saw her one day,
Looked impeccably common, yet a glow glistened around her,
I had noticed many times before, but never so intently, had I attended her,
All love takes really is a moment I knew, when I that day suddenly saw her...

A short story of my little love, I will say today,
It should've started earlier again, but ended up beginning on May,
I was too busy, sorting out life as I wanted it to be,
Too much of a fool I was to feel, that I can control my destiny,
As soon as it ends, the start is bound, and as they say, there is no end to melody...

A short story of my little love, I will say today,
It hasn't been a while, it hasn't been years, still with her I would want to fervidly stay,
You might think oh again, it's all an old story, worth encore a forget,
I beg to differ, however my friend, for each moment is special, with each person if you let,
The nectar is eternal & hopeful, just waiting to be drunk, like the sun rises everyday, although it's bound to set...

A short story of my little love, I will say today,
She is somewhere in this city, oblivious to in my life, how much her need, this moment is supposed to lay,
I want it this way too, forever hidden, obscured my love, by this veil of reality to be wrapped,
Leaving her as she is, hopping in my memory, as the moon white and far, unable to be trapped,
Just another reason to smile, a thousand time she is, knowing I once saw her, in the very moment cupid tapped...

Now I end the story, accepting it never began, boring life will be as it was, time will keep running, as it has always ran,
I revealed nothing my friends, just a few jumbled thoughts, for the rest of what has happened and will,
Is also unknown to me, I just said whatever I could remember, scrounging through my needs,
In these times perilous, of manipulated life's memories, you will wish I never return, for this hasn't been much of a story,
So sorry this wasn't great, I never promised would be, I just wanted you to know, how much confusing a little love can be...!!

Depleted Mother

I walk alone on this yellow stretch,
Vivid and dark, awating wretch,
I remember not how I come to be here,
The memory of the start, I can no more bear,
I walk alone on this yellow stretch,
Awaiting the end of this dream, awaiting wretch...

I run alone through the barren field,
Empty and lost, given to greed,
Trees all missing, only remnants of a brough,
I see thorned vampires, where leaves used to grow,
I run alone through the barren field,
Given to the deep of this dream, given to greed...

I swim alone in this deep deadly ocean,
Where nothing swims anymore, and only scales solemnly burn,
Devoid of life, all the marine left to die,
It was once breathing, before compelled to cry,
I swim alone in this deep deadly ocean,
Where I dream this deadly dream, and only scales solemnly burn...

I fly alone in this sky so vast,
Here too I see no one, surely I'm the last,
The few smoky things there are, they never seem to heed,
Feathers bundled in blood, claws of last need,
I fly alone in this sky so vast,
In vain I hope this dream will end, surely I'm the last...

Now all that remains for me is maybe not to feel the pain,
That the earth suffers for us for all our needless gain,
Shall I too ignore its plea, and take all her salt and rock?
Or is it time to rise again, destroy the ticking clock?
Now all that remains for me is maybe not to feel the pain,
Lest I object to my luxury, and to all our needless gain...

The Name

Religion teaches renouncement, but love is bliss,
Adhere to that dogma, and that bliss you'll surely miss,
Deep inside our mind, what exists will die with us,
Hoary though yet love will remain, in our heart full of blush,
Isled in an ocean all alone, although hope can make us thrive,
Kindness and honour wagered in war, in the end, love can always survive,
Another heartbreak on its way, now I sense but in vain,
Jabbing the heart with all its might, another cause digging that brutal old pain,
Availing an open scar, healed for a rougher tomorrow now again,
I embrace the love with its might, I embrace the light, I embrace the rain,
New beginning, again hoped for as in each time I fall for a you,
I fail each time alright, and this time too, with or without you,
Living dead I will be rendered, after this period of amazement and lust,
On a bleak rocky terrain of the desert, in a dead ship, me wailing on its mast,
Vanity shed, hurt gained, memories of present, waiting to be the past,
Every time that happens, rejection and gloom, every time I think its the last,
Years go by, I heal and love again, I never cease to grow like that tree,
On the ground, in that fairy tale, love nurtured in my heart, I begin to live for thee,
Usable again, recycled and alive, each time searching again, life for its destiny.